“The life of thinking of death and the life of ignoring death. These two are the difference between heaven and earth.”
[백성호의 현문우답]
The roots of corona fear are eventually death
Let’s take the opportunity to turn defilement into wisdom
There is hope in a life that is honest with yourself
On the 29th of last month, the wind in Gangcheon-myeon, Yeoju-si, Gyeonggi-do, was cold. I met Father Suh Se-Won (67) at the Dole Stone Field Community there. Born in Canada and a Jesuit priest, he retired from retirement last year as a professor in the Department of Religion at Sogang University. Today, I am doing organic farming, meditating, praying, studying, and teaching together with community dobans. In the New Year, I asked the bride about’corona, life and death’.
Father Seong-won said, “Life has become an ocean of pain because of Corona 19. But now is the process. This too is just going through. Ultimately, we are the strangers of life, the pilgrims of life.” Reporter Kim Seong-ryong
- Many people are suffering from the corona crisis. Many are directly threatened by their livelihoods, and many are confirmed to fight sickness. Most of all, everyone is unable to escape from the fear of corona infection.
- “Every time I hear such news, it hurts my heart. Moreover, the pain of those who earn weekly and eat and live every week is even greater. Not long ago, I got on the subway, and a grandmother took down her mask for a while and talked on the phone. Then the woman sitting across from him pointed out and screamed loudly. I thought,’Everyone is afraid.’”
- Is it fear of infection?
- “After all, it is a fear of pain and death. That is the root of corona fear. But what if I live only in that fear? Wouldn’t life become more depressing? In Buddhism, it is said that devotion is barley (菩提·wisdom of enlightenment). So, it would be nice to turn the agony of’corona’ into the wisdom of life.”
Father Seong-won said, “Because of the corona, we have been staying in only one place since March. Even staying in one place is a microcosm. Thanks to that, it was a great opportunity to reflect on and reflect on my life for 67 years.” Reporter Kim Seong-ryong
- Corona is the fear of death. How to turn it into wisdom.
- “Sometimes I ask people. Have you ever thought deeply about’my death’? Then, nine out of ten answer’nothing’. Why. Because everyone sees death as something that has nothing to do with me. I think it won’t happen to me. I did too.”
Father Seo was a medical student before becoming a Jesuit priest. He attended a 600-year-old medical school at Bordeaux University in France for 6 years. During summer vacation, I went back to my hometown of Quebec, Canada. And I worked part-time in the dissection room of St. Mary’s Hospital in Montreal.
“Actually, even after going to medical school, there are few opportunities to dissect a body. While working part-time on summer vacation, I dissected 350 bodies for 5 years. I can’t forget the first day of anatomy. Even though the body was slightly decayed, I thought it was really dark because of the terrible smell from the intestines. Even if the body was dissected 10, 20, and later 100, 200, death was not mine. Death has always been someone else’s, nothing to do with me.”
“As I was farming in Yeoju, I realized that there were so many things I didn’t know. I don’t know the name of the bug, I don’t know the name of the grass. During that time, I thought I had lived in isolation from nature.” Reporter Kim Seong-ryong
- Didn’t you see the naked figure of death? Still, why didn’t you think of’my death’?
- “During World War II, there were Nazi Jewish camps. Numerous Jews were slaughtered. At the time, a Jew put Jews into the poison gas chamber and opened the gas valve. How many deaths must that person have witnessed? He was in the crucible of death. Nevertheless, he said he didn’t even think that he might die. I was doing it. That’s human. We live as if we will live forever.”
- When did the priest break that thought?
- “One day I looked around the bodies in the anatomy room. Some kids, some young, some babies who died as soon as they were born, some who committed suicide. Men and women of all ages, regardless of age. Then suddenly I realized that I was also dying. It wasn’t until I faced my death.”
Father Seong-won said, “Living up to capitalist values makes us consumers. Tell them to feel satisfied when they buy and consume something. I am not interested in’my death’.” Reporter Kim Seong-ryong
- What changed after accepting it?
- “I deeply accepted the fact that’I die’. Then a question came up. ‘Then how should I live?’ ‘What should I do in this finite life?’ ‘What should I live for?’ It was an inner voice. I call this’my mind’s GPS (satellite navigation system)’. From then on, the GPS started working.”
In his sixth year of medical school, he went to a monastery in Lyon, eight hours away by train from Bordeaux. I wanted to hear the’inner voice’ while taking a retreat for 8 days in a place where no one knows me. As the eighth day approached, the inner voice became more pronounced. Eventually, he dropped out of medical school in the summer of that year, and entered a Jesuit monastery in France in the fall. Of course, the opposition and accusations of the parents were great.
“A lot of Koreans live in cities. Even if you go to a high-end department store, it is nature that you cannot buy. Nature is truly a’sparkling’ world.” Reporter Kim Seong-ryong
- Korean parents are anxious because they can’t send their children to medical school. The priest himself gave up the difficult medical school. What if you look back on the life that followed the’Inner Voice’?
- “My grandfather and father were doctors. My mother wanted to create a family of doctors for the third generation. It was a great’Helicopter Heart’. One younger brother committed suicide in the basement on the day he received enough points to pass medical school. Because the doctor was the life my mother wanted. Another younger brother quit the doctor as soon as his mother died. Now he said he wanted to live by doing what he really wanted to do. He told me,’I will live like my brother.’ Then how about me. When I was a medical student, I lived as’the me my parents want.’ Now I live as’I want to be myself’. Could there be greater happiness than this? If I had lived as a doctor, I would have been unhappy.”
- Why don’t we think about’my death’ or’life orientation’ so much?
- “The capitalist civilization we live in makes it difficult to do it. Rather than letting us look for it, it makes it a consumer of all kinds of things. They travel abroad to Paris or New York, ride luxury branded foreign cars, and consume better computers, better perfumes, and better clothes. They are told to find satisfaction in life through it. Without our knowledge, we live only as consumers, not as meditators. I stop listening to the sounds inside me.”
Father Seong-won said, “When you read a classic, you have to look at what kind of mind it came from.” Reporter Kim Seong-ryong
- What kind of effort do I have to make to hear the sound inside me again?
- “We have to change the conditions of our living. You have to set aside the minimum amount of time to hear your inner voice. Not a one-time basis, but habitually, regularly, and continually, you should come across teachings that awaken you. I call it’classic’. It can be a Buddhist meditation method, and it can be a philosophy of Socrates or Descartes. Lao-tzu’s moral book is good, and the teachings of Jesus and the Buddha are good.”
- Can I just read such a classic?
- “no. You need to understand and embody in depth what kind of mind the classic came from. You should get as close to the original intention as possible. On that path we hear the inner voice.”
- The deep confrontation of’my death’ made me question the meaning of life. Did that make my mind’s GPS work?
- “Yes. It’s paradoxical, but it would be nice if Corona 19 could be such an opportunity. Don’t everyone feel the fear of death? It would be nice to take the time to go one step further and think deeply about’my death’. Then, couldn’t we turn the trouble of corona into wisdom in life? Wouldn’t it be an opportunity to listen to your inner voice? I want to have such expectations.”
Father Seong-won said, “Socrates, Confucius, Jesus, and Buddha are all people who lived according to their inner voice.” Reporter Kim Seong-ryong
- Why is it important to live by the inner voice?
- “Confucius, Lao-tzu, Jesus, and Buddha consistently said something. ‘You have to live honestly’. What is living by following the inner voice? It is to live honestly. It’s about living honestly with yourself and not with anyone else. What a hopeful life that is.”
After the interview, when I came outside, snow fluttered. There is life when there is death, and there is spring when there is winter. In the frozen furrow, spring was already coming up under it.
In the winter field where perilla seeds were planted in the Challenge Stone Field Community, Father Signature-Won is standing. When the interview was over, the snow blew, so I took the picture below again. Reporter Kim Seong-ryong
Yeoju = Baek Seong-ho, a religious reporter [email protected]
Who is the signatory bride
Father Seo said, “My center is Christianity. However, because of Buddhism, my religion and spirituality expanded and deepened.” He joined the Jesuits in 1979, came to Korea as a missionary in 1985, and encountered multi-religious cultures. From 2005 to last year, he served as a professor at Sogang University. Now, in Yeoju, Gyeonggi-do, we are establishing a challenged stone field community that combines farming and spirituality.
