[양성희의 시시각각] There is no guilt in the adopted family

JoongAng Ilbo columnist

I doubted my ears. Yesterday, during a New Year’s press conference, when asked about measures to prevent child abuse, the President mentioned’adoption cancellation’ and’child replacement’. “Because adoptive parents may change their minds, they cancel the adoption again within a certain period of time, or change the adopted child if they say that they are still willing to adopt but do not match the child… .” Public opinion raged all day. “Is it online shopping to return if I don’t like the adoption?” “Even dogs can’t be easily dissected.” “I can’t believe it because of the remarks of the President, a former human rights lawyer.

The Blue House explained that it was “the purpose of supplementing the adoption system to promote adoption”. “The purpose of supplementing the pre-consignment protection system that is customarily used with the consent of the adoptive parents before the adoption is confirmed.” “In France, the UK and Sweden, the pre-consignment system is implemented by law. Above all, the happiness of the child is important.” In a word, it is a mistake not to properly explain the necessity of’legalization of the prior consignment system’. Even if a hundred concessions are made, this is a system supplement for adoptive parents, not for adopted children. In response to the question of countermeasures against child abuse, the system for adoptive parents was supplemented. ‘Payang’ is a trauma that is separated from the adoptive parents following their birth parents. Still, the 16-month-old girl’Jung In-i’, a 16-month-old girl who died of child abuse, has emerged as a problem for the adopted family, and many adopted families are injured.

Indeed, the vast majority of perpetrators of child abuse are biological parents. According to data from the Ministry of Health and Welfare in 2019, 72.3% of child abuse perpetrators were biological parents and 0.3% adopted parents. When a birth parent hits a child, they say, “How are the birth parents,” but when the step-parents or adoptive parents say, “Because they are step-parents”, “Because they are foster parents.” Perhaps for that reason, compared to stepparents or adoptive parents who have no choice but to be conscious of others’ eyes, there is a possibility that birth parents will be more relaxed in violent events. The problem is not stepparents, adoptive parents, or birth parents, but violent caregivers. It is a brutal violence under the name of’the hawk of love’. It is a strong sense of parental authority, “Because you are my child, whatever you want”.

Compared to the past, there is a trend toward public adoption, but there is still an obsession with ‘normal family’, pedigree, and prejudice of ‘poor child’. The adoptive parents are either demons or angels like this case. There is still a tendency to prefer healthy girls under the age of 3 who have no memory of their birth parents and who are not burdened by generations. Naturally, domestic adoption of disabled children is difficult. There is also a contradiction that criticizes overseas adoption but does not promote domestic adoption. Of the 704 adoptions in 2019, 317 or 45% were adopted overseas. There is a dilemma in which unmarried mothers, who are reluctant to expose their status, to abandon children instead of adoption (baby boxes), or only children in facilities are increasing. In 2012, when the Adoption Consideration and Permission System was introduced, the total number of adoptions decreased to 880 in 2016. It would be a good thing to return to the original family, but it is true that the number of children who went to the facility also increased.

Political circles are busy discussing adoption screening and reinforcement of follow-up management with this incident, but adopted families are cynical. “The adoptive parents are treated as potential criminals, so who will adopt them?” “Child abuse occurs in adoptive families, so if you want to manage adoptive parents, manage the birth parents with the most child abuse.” “Don’t keep saying that you are a foster parent. They are not biological parents, they are biological parents.”

The nation’s job is to raise the life of even one person born in the era of low fertility, and it is not enough to encourage adopted families who claim to do so. As an easy solution to condemning adoptive parents of’killers’, it is impossible to break the link of child abuse that turns around. The essence of this case is child abuse, not adoption. The President’s remarks were lacking in detail and human rights sensitivity. The Blue House was right to apologize, not explain.

JoongAng Ilbo columnist